Have you heard about the phoenix?
To quote Wikipedia:
In Ancient Greek folklore, a phoenix (/ˈfiːnɪks/; Ancient Greek: φοῖνιξ, phoînix) is a long-lived bird that cyclically regenerates or is otherwise born again. Associated with the sun, a phoenix obtains new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. Some legends say it dies in a show of flames and combustion, others that it simply dies and decomposes before being born again.
Yesterday I departed from my family in Alabama. I will let my sister tell you why I was there:
<insert Jordan's story/video>
Perhaps she will also tell you how she feels about the phoenix:
<insert Jordan's writing or video here>
The day is 29 December 2020.
Now I am in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, where I stay in a low-budget hostel. It is not my first time in Mexico. I was here just prior to visiting my family spending time in Sayulita and San Pancho.
Last night I fell asleep to noisy traffic by putting in headphones and listing to soft piano music. I think of my sister who also uses music to calm her mind.
This morning I woke up grateful to be alive.
I started again my morning practice of yoga to help wake up my body, meditation and a "spirit run".
Before all of this I indulged in a cup of coffee and reflected on how the caffeine augments my mind and body. Coffee gives me pleasure of feeling more energetic, but also harms me; I notice the stains on my teeth.
During the meditation, I ask the divine me to what I need to see and feel during the day.
For an hour, I ran along a river. I saw families starting their days. A man taking his horse to drink water.
The proverb 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' came to mind.
What does this mean to my sister, I wonder?
<insert Jordan's writing or video here>
At one point in my run I hear the phrase "meditate, don't medicate."
My medication has been food. For one week I gorged myself on all the unhealthy holiday fare and maintained a constant sugar high. Sometimes at night I have what seems like uncontrollable cravings to eat even when I'm not even hungry. I could drone on about my unhealthy relationship with food and my body, but this isn't a story about getting stuck. It's a story about rebuilding into a healthier human.
"I do not have a mental or physical illness," I tell myself.
The movie Fight Club comes to mind. I want to rewrite it as Peace Club in which the characters have competitions over who can meditate the longest. Instead of mischief, mayhem, and soap, it's peace, love and joy.
My sister wants to rewrite Girl Interuppted. Maybe she'll write or tell her thoughts on this:
Coming back to the spirit run:
I feel my pulse. My, how thankful I am for the pulse and the blood that courses through my veins.
As I write this, I tell myself I will do something to help another person today. Sometimes just listening helps other people. I've already listened to another female American who is staying at the hostel. Her story is similar to mine. We've both traveled to many places where life is very different from how it is in the USA. We have a difficult time returning to a country where anxiety is high and pharmaceuticals are doled out like candy to sooth the humans who think they can't deal. (She was a nurse).
What do these humans need to heal?
Love. Healthy food. Nature. Soothing touch.
More to come...
