A Tale of Two Mixers: Part 3

The two mixer events I've blogged about recently (a theme camp leads mixer and a marketing and sales focused executive breakfast) had a number of similarities that contributed to the success of each. Below are takeaway tips for the next mixer I plan:


Provide Name Tags - Name tags provide good conversation starters, especially when titles and organization names or descriptors are included.

Set the Agenda - Set expectations regarding what participants should get out of each event by reading off an outline of what is to be accomplished.

Facilitate Conversation - Have pre-planned topics queued along with activities that stir conversations. Play games that encourage interactivity, and have a means of displaying topics for continued discussion.

Encourage Questions - Always include a Q&A portion! I didn't do this at the Theme Camp Leads Mixer, but it would have been an excellent opportunity to have participants ask burning questions and express feedback to event organizers.

Focus on the positives first - This one was learned from Cooper's advice. Keeping things positive tends to move the conversation forward and opens up a broad horizon of solutions and idea exchanges.


What are your tips for creating effective mingling?

A Tale of Two Mixers: Part 2

My company hosted what could be considered a mixer a few weeks ago, though the event was technically a breakfast with a panel discussion about building B2B pipeline for 2015.

People mingled for the first 45 minutes until it came time for the speaker portion. Our Sales Director then announced an interactive intent and then polled the audience for their respective professions and motives for being present.

We heard from a series of sales reps, marketing professionals, and entrepreneurs. At least three people were in attendance with similar self-introductions to this one:

"My name is _____. Our company is a manufacturer of water pipes. That's right folks, we're a bong company."

The majority of a the audience had a good laugh, and I would be willing to be I was not the only one who was pleasantly surprised when the three "water pipe manufacturers" turned out to be thoughtful contributors to the conversation.

Our Sales Director asked hard hitting questions to our CEO and a representative from a partner organization as the audience listened and shared their own best practices - as well as their struggles - with marketing and building their own businesses.

I'd consider the event a success, especially since our sales team walked away with a handful of business cards for people looking to build a lead generation program.  I also had the pleasure of meeting a (now new) colleague who seems to have the same affection for the color purple as I do!

A Tale of Two Mixers: Part 1

I have a not-so-secret life that involves festival planning. The festival I plan for is driven largely by theme camps, or collectives who gift some kind of thing or experience, that each contribute to the nature of the event. The event itself is established on the principles of accountability, self-expression, and cooperation.

I had the lovely opportunity of hosting a mixer for Theme Camp leads last Friday. I'd say it went fairly well. My Key Performance Indicator was the number of Post-It notes that were issued that evening.

I can't claim all claim full credit for the awesomeness that ensued. A friend, who seems to be a pretty accomplished guy, had given this snippet of advice:

"Part A:  First, have everyone brainstorm / identify all the things that people liked, that went well, that was successful and things that we want to do again next year.  Keep people in this process and if they have "yeah buts" and " i didn't like that" have them make a note of that for next part.  This starts off on a positive note, creates energy and avoids dealing with downers right at the outset of a meeting, which can derail the whole fucking thing.  Keep these on one sheet of paper."

The first hour was spent mingling as attendees trickled into my home. By the time we had a full house, I stood on top of a cooler and announced these not-quite-verbatim directions:

"So you may have noticed all these categories listed out throughout our space here -- I'm going to give you all Post-It notes, and I want you to write the positive and successful aspects of your camp related to the categories you see."

...and just like that people started brainstorming and talking to each other about what went well with their respective camps.

Fear of Public Speaking (FOPS)

The hardest class I took in college was Public Speaking.

My father would laugh when I told him about my struggles. He said most people used that class to bump up their GPA.

I was terrified every time I was put on the spot to deliver a speech. Thankfully, I had a really awesome teacher who taught me to reach deep inside for the confidence required for oratory presentations. If it weren't for "Madam Duke" (as I adoringly referred to her), I'd be far behind professionally and socially. 

I'm still not where I want to be in terms of squelching my FOPS, but I am still surrounded with very strong influences who push me to exude the same confidence that Madam Duke imparted on me years ago.

Just last week, my intonation was scrutinized, and I was thankful for the reminder to Always Be Improving, a direct link to confidence -- and the ultimate cure for FOPS. 

How do YOU prepare for speaking publicly?

Laying out goals

Most of us have those weeks where we feel less effective. This week is one of those weeks for me. I'm sick with some kind of cold/sinus infection and can't hear very well,  my attention span is about a tenth of what it usually is, and all I really want to do is sleep. I'd love to give myself the excuse of "I just don't feel well", but that shouldn't deter me from the bigger picture.

Whenever I feel like I'm veering off of a productive path, I take a moment to reestablish goals and the tactics that will be required to achieve them -- even if it means pushing past my comfort zone.

Today I present you with three major goals of mine:

1) Be awesome at my job. 

In my current role, I am tasked with growing business among existing accounts. In order to do this, I need to understand individual business goals for each client and how our marketing services can help them achieve these goals. Luckily, I work with awesome team members who pay close attention to the impact our program has on our clients' bottom lines. 

From a tactical standpoint, I will list out goals per client and recommended services that will help them succeed. I will also work more closely with our program leads to gain additional insights into how I can add value to each client relationship without making an overt pitch.

2) Figure out what's next. 

My boss popped a big question a few weeks ago -- "What do you see yourself doing next?"

I found it really hard to answer. I love what I do now, but I will always operate under the principle that there is more I can be doing and learning.

When I was in college, I had high hopes of working in a creative field. Now that I have worked in roles not traditionally considered as "creative",  I've found that creativity does indeed play a huge role in forward-moving career paths. I want to use my creativity to improve processes and make strong cases for change, which is ultimately what selling is really about.

Within the next year, I would like to have a clearly defined career path in which I will thrive on my strongest attributes and strengthen my weakest abilities.

3) Continue growing relationships. 

Whether personal or professional, relationships are absolutely critical to self-improvement. I want to foster my existing relationships by sponging up insights of my colleagues and peers. To do this, I need to be a consistent communicator while remaining sensitive to what drives others.

If you want something, ask for it.

We've all heard the phrase "Good things happen to those who wait." In reality, the best things happen to those who ask.

Think back to being a kid. Was Santa Claus ever on his game enough to bring you something that you didn't request? Probably not.

I don't remember exactly what I whispered in the Jolly Old Man's ears at the mall as a five year old, but the letters I wrote to him went something like this:

"Dear Santa,

Here are some cookies and milk for you and carrots for your reindeer. 

I promise I've been really good this year. 

I really hope that you'll bring me a My-Size Barbie.

Sincerely,

Emily"

I wrote a similar letter for two years in a row, but Santa never provided me a My-Size Barbie (apparently they were sold out all across the world). Now, with 20+ years of experience under my bet, I know exactly what I did wrong.

You see, my request wasn't explicit, and my justification was far from effective. Plus, I didn't tell Santa HOW to get the right doll. If I were to have a conversation with a much shorter and youger version of my self, I'd point out how I really should have been firm about what I wanted and why I wanted it. I would have also sent the letter ahead of time instead of waiting until the last meant and leaving it under the tree. 

"October 1, 19--

Dear Santa,

I've been a very good girl this year. I completed my 99% of my chores on time and never forgot to do my homework. As a result, my parents continue to be pleased with my conduct. Because of my consistently wonderful behavior, I am requesting that you honor my wish for a My-Size Barbie. 

There is a high likelihood that my behavior will only improve if I gain access to a doll to call my own. The My-Size Barbie would be like my best friend. I'd play with her every day.

I understand retailers keep selling out of this doll. I recommend a direct purchase from manufacturer. I've booked you a meeting with Mattel's VP of Operations to discuss inventory needs next month. She has already mentioned her delight to begin a fruitful partnership with you.

I wish you all the best with your journeys to and from the North Pole. Travel safely!

Sincerely,

Emily"

Top 8 Playa Moments of 2014

I'm throwing in another facet of succestication: perpetual experiences of awesome. 

In regards to self-improvement, I strongly believe that new experiences are the key to an open mind and a continuous yearning to go above and beyond what is known. An inspiring setting -- such as an open art gallery in the middle of the desert -- can certainly help.

On that note, here are my top moments at Burning Man 2014:

1) The never-ending drum circle at the Texas Souk.

2) Finding the Burning Man Ultra Marathon. I went to bed early our first night on playa and set my alarm for 6AM in hopes of catching at the last half of the Burning Man Ultra Marathon. Since I had no idea what the course would be, I laced up my running shoes and headed out into deep playa and looked for fast moving dots of humans in the distance. As I approached the trash fence,  I found a very loud bus with a swarm of people dancing around it. It was Robot Heart, an elusive set my friend had been describing the night before, and right beyond it were RUNNERS. I made a mad dash to catch up and met a few characters along the way (including one guy running completely naked, bare feet and all!). 

3) Spending White Out Wednesday in my wedding dress.  Aside from feeling absolutely beautiful in the airy white fabric, this dress seemed to hold some sort of enchantment. It was so much fun to dance in, too!

Not pictured: Burning Man

4) Being inside Embrace. This was one of my favorite art pieces -- a wooden sculpture that you could climb inside, passing large mechanical hearts up into the head of each figure. You could look out the eyes for a lovely view of the desert.

Photo courtesy of DUNCAN RAWLINSON.

5)  Seeing Saturday morning's sunrise. After Embrace burned on Friday morning, Justin and I had an amazing adventure out in deep playa that involved hours of observation of the blinky horizon dotted by ship masts, alien forms, and giant dragons.  We settled into our own coziness for what seemed like hours -- still in deep, deep playa -- and watched a neon red sun emerge. It was the most beautiful sunrise I ever witnessed.

6) Hanging out with the Neunzig family at Fire House. There's no better way to pass the heat of the day than hanging out with two generations of Neunzigs!

Try to spot Tim in this picture...

7) Not losing my fanny pack. After an 8+ hour adventure, I realized I was missing a critical component of my wardrobe: the fanny pack that contained both Justin's and my I.D.s. After wracking my brain for a good hour, I realized where I left it -- "some big playground-like structure along Esplanade".  Given that Esplanade is a mile long frontage of camps, I was very happy to find that my sense of direction was still in tact. Fanny pack found; identities saved.

8) The Temple burn. The Temple is an ornate structure located across from the man where people leave written memories or thoughts for loved ones who have passed. Some leave behind representations of what they want to remove from from their lives. When the Temple burned, everyone sat or stood silently out of respect. Its large dome fell with a graceful twist, and all the emotional heaviness it held became ashes, ultimately turned to dust. Needless to say, it was very cathartic.



I didn't take any pictures at the event, so if you need more visuals, check out this gallery (including the last photo -- the Shrine of the Crossroads -- an Austin-based project).

The Texas Souk Project

It's been a while, blog. I am back from the dust!

I am returning from a great adventure in the Nevada desert. Black Rock City, to be exact.

Our Texas Souk project went swimmingly. There were 29 stalls built around the base of The Man, most of them containing open-air "markets" or performance arenas representing different regions from around the globe. Each souk had a unique theme that encouraged interactivity.

Texas Souk's theme was "The Senses". We created an atmosphere meant to appeal to the five (or six, depending on your beliefs) senses. We had a drum circle space and a slew of gifts, some made from found materials acquired during our park clean ups. 

The photos below are courtesy of my friend, Snuggles:

When someone meandered into our souk space, we invited them to tell a story or ride one of our stick horses in exchange for a gift. Throughout the week, we heard heartwarming stories  -- some incredibly happy and others that were quite serious and moving-- and laughed as people raced stick horses around the Man.

The most incredible souk moment I had was while we were tearing it down in preparation for The Man to burn. There was a huge dust storm that day -- I could barely see five feet in front of me! Everyone was frantically taking down decor while a drum circle lingered in the middle of our souk stall. The drumming seemed to get more intense as our space was deconstructed. It got to the point where all that was left were the rugs on which the drummers were sitting, their instruments, and our team standing in awe. You just can't take Texas down easily, ya'll. 

***

Up next: More Burning Man adventures.

Confessions of slacking

It's been over two weeks since I last updated, so I'm kicking myself for not being persistent. I can't be too hard on myself considering the mega amounts or productivity that has happened in the meantime.

While excuses are lame, I have been quite busy fundraising and preparing for a trip into the desert. This will be my first year ever going to Burning Man, and I'm quite stoked about all the projects our camp has planned.

I have fallen in with the Texas Souk camp, which is a collaboration of other CORE camps within Texas. To give some background on the Souk project, check out http://souk.burningman.com/.

The Texas Souk is themed around the five senses. As mentioned in my last post, my gifts are massage bars made of cocoa butter, shea butter, beeswax, and essential oils. To date, I've made over 300 of them each the size of an ice cube. I'm so excited to share these!

On the fundraising front, our camp threw a benefit Little Black Dress party that performed exceptionally well. I have nothing but deep appreciation for everyone who contributed time, talents, funds, and other donations to the event.

Weekend Successticated Meter

I declare this weekend a 9.5/10 on the succesticated meter.

It started with brews in celebration of our favorite Cajun, Lance Laurent, and continued with a dip in this little bit of paradise known as Krause Springs:

The best news: I didn't get sunburned!

On Sunday, I made 150 massage bars to donate to the Texas Souk project at Burning Man. Oh, and I made a really delicious curry. The only thing that would have made this weekend better would have been a nice, long bike ride. There's always next weekend. :)

8 Words and Phrases That Are Now an Inherent Part of My Vocabulary

Before I became a sales person, these words hardly ever -- or even never -- came out of my mouth:

"Cadence" - Refers to a rhythmical cycle of the sales process. Calls and emails to prospects should happen regularly, and proper cadence can establish a flow for closing deals.

"Follow Up" - Following up refers to the tried and true "just checking in" approach, and it can also be used to set the stage for another conversation. See also "Circle Back" and "Touch Base."

"Next Steps" - One should always be thinking about what the next step will be -- even if it's just a follow up. Ideally, the next step will get you one step closer to that contract.

"Go Forward" - Similar to "Next Steps", this one can be used to push the momentum of a deal.

"Scalability" - This isn't even a real word, but EVERYONE in the C-Suite loves to use it. To use it in a sentence, "Why, yes, our solution can meet scalability requirements to increase your returns on an exponential scale!"

"ROI" - Apparently this is all you need to prove to get a signature.

CATBEARD

I'm having a hard time staying focused this week (yay, post-vacay!). To spread the distraction, here is an adorable picture of my cat with our friend:

Persistance pays.

I had the lovely opportunity of spending this weekend with my father and childhood friend, Kristen.  I get to see these two simultaneously about once a year, and without fail the same conversation always comes up: 

"Emily seriously had a Phoebe run growing up. You should have seen how awkward she was!"

The Friends reference is pretty accurate. I was lanky and uncoordinated well into my twenties -- but I didn't let that stop me from running. Every day I would wake up hellbent on getting my miles in and my speed eventually increased and my runs got longer. 

With four decently-timed marathons under my belt, I must admit it's pretty cool to think how far I've come since my first shuffles around the block. 

My running "career" can also be applied to my actual career. Sure, plenty of people are naturally good at sales, but practice can definitely paid off. I'm at a point right now where I'm determined to stick with selling and hope to see major improvements as my skills mature.

Cheers to persistence, learning, and self-improvement!

Life's not a sprint -- it's a marathon.

Home Sweet Home

Lately I've had a number of conversations center around my home state.

Last night I did my usual thing -- rode my bike downtown to join a few hundred other wildcards in the throngs of the Thursday Night Social Ride. A stranger struck up a conversation and asked me where I grew up. It turned into a guessing game.

"Are you from California?"

"Nope -- think Deep South."

"Florida."

"No, but the state I came from does have beautiful beaches."

"Er...South Carolina?"

"And my hometown is known for NASA and defense contracting."

"Georgia? Louisiana? Mississippi?"

"Roll Tide!"

It still didn't click that I'm from Alabama, but it turns out not everyone follows SEC football.

Just last week, My CEO and I got to talking about how people just don't give Alabama enough credit. Not all of us Alabamians are toothless, incessantly drunk NASCAR fans, and even those who are might night be the nimrods they are made out to be. In fact, the city in which I was born, Huntsville, otherwise known as the "Rocket City", hosts a plethora of rocket scientists, bio-tech researchers, and other engineering types (at one time this included both of my parents. .

I have definitely heard my fair share of negative stigmas about the Heart of Dixie, which seem to be perpetuated by stereotypical representations that reflect a minority who exist in every state. Political controversies and historical injustices aren't to be ignored, but they shouldn't lay claim to Alabama's entire reputation -- nor should the notion that Alabamians are idiots. I can say firsthand that I received an awesome education in Alabama public schools and benefited from good ol' Southern values.

Southern charm should not be mistaken for ignorance, and I wouldn't give it up for the abrasive cultures I've experienced elsewhere. Plus, pecan pie and sweet tea aren't a half-bad combination.

The older I get, the more I appreciate my Alabama roots.

Confidence is key

Six years ago, I was terrified to speak in public. I had also gotten into a bad habit of mumbling and staring at feet whenever I was forced to talk, and I apologized all the time for no real reason. 

Working in Sales has pretty much beaten all of this shyness and timidity out of me. Now I give presentations to groups of people far above my rank. It's pretty cool -- but I would never be able to do it without confidence.

My confidence levels have started to build within the past few years thanks to encouragement by mentors, personal growth, and greater knowledge of my industry. I am by no means where I want to be, but I feel like I am heading in a good direction in terms of being assertive.

Here are some practices that have helped:

• Making eye contact. I look directly at people when speaking to them and make it a point to spread my gaze when among a group.

• Finding a solid tone of voice.  I think back to the few acting lessons I took as a kid. We were told to speak from our diaphragms and project boldly and loudly. This is the tone I strive for in a professional setting, and it does wonders for communicating effectively and captivating the attention of others.

• Knowing my shit. I take pages and pages of notes and seek to have a thorough understanding of any situation with which I am involved. The more research and preparation I do, the more confident I feel.

For more tips on confidence, I'll hand it to WikiHow's How To article.

As a side note, what I never want to be is cocky. There is a song that I keep in my head to remind me to stay off of a high horse:

Spinning Plates!

This is how I feel all the time -- except less bored and less bald. 

Working in Sales constantly makes me feel as if I'm on the spot in a flashy variety show like America's Got Talent or, if it were 50 years ago, The Ed Sullivan Show.

I imagine bright lights beaming down with a brass band playing in the background. An audience stares while I spin metaphorical sticks and place delicate plates to balance in elusive motion.

The act is a tough one that requires coordination, urgency, and ambition. I must turn each plate into a forward revolution as it starts to slow.  If I don't, it will topple off and smash to an untimely end. If I keep it and all of the other plates spinning, I win the prize.

In real life, the plates are deals. The spinning sticks are all the conversations that make opportunities move forward, and my prize is the close. If I stop, so does my chance of winning.

So what's a girl to do to keep those plates moving?

Pick up the phone, ask the tough questions, and make people think about what's in it for them and and their bottom line. There are exchanges of pleasantries, provocations, and decisions made along the way.

To put it in the words of a mentor, "It ain't easy -- and it it were, we wouldn't be doing it."

Quote of the Week

Choose your true friends wisely.

Sriracha kitty isn't my only true friend.

I wrote about the necessity of making friends not too long ago.  We all know that friendship can fall into several different categories, with a large differentiation being between true friends and acquaintances. My previous entry was mainly addressing the latter.

True friends are hard to come by, but they tend to stay forever when you have them. Take my friend Tim, for example. Tim and I met at The University of Alabama, and we both celebrated our weirdness together and continue to do so. We love each other in that "I'll be there for you regardless of how crazy you become" kind of way.

True friends stick up for you when no one else will, and they appreciate you for who you are -- not who they want you to be. True friends respect you -- your relationships, your goals, your obligations -- and they DON'T take advantage of you. The same cannot be said of acquaintances.

True friends don't bleed you dry. Instead, they fill you up.

I have so much gratitude for those I call true friends that it can be overwhelming sometimes.

DELEGATE. DELEGATE. DELEGATE.

I am going out of town this weekend, and Sriracha helped me pack cooking supplies for our trip.

This week has been one of those weeks where I've dreamed of cloning myself in order to DO ALL THINGS. I've also thought about diving into a black hole in hopes of augmenting the space-time continuum such that I have at least 40 hours in a single day.

When science catches up to my schemes, I'll be golden. Until then, I must rely on others to give me a hand when I feel like my head is underwater. I have so many plates spinning right now, and they'd all come crashing down if it weren't for an awesome support team and, in my personal life, my dutiful husband.

My younger, less-experienced self would try to do every single task on whatever list of to-do's I had going. Now I am enabling myself with the ability to rely on others. I will not, however, let this newly adopted philosophy turn into laziness. Instead, I will focus on the strengths of others and be mindful of their availability and focus so I can align my delegated requests with their goals and the goals of my organization. 

Time to adapt

Since most of my blog topics aren't very visual, I am just going to start posting pictures of my cat -- because aren't cat pictures the reason the Internet was invented in the first place?

Up until last Tuesday, I was in a sort of rut coming off of a big race with months of build up and realizing how much I had settled into a routine in other aspects of my life. One of those aspects happened to be my career  -- I found myself getting feeling stumped at work with major renewals falling through or new business opportunities going completely dark.

I wasn't getting lazy, per so -- but I was feeling jaded.

The service I sell (managed marketing automation services with a demand generation/sales acceleration component) is very complicated and usually takes about an hour to explain. It also requires a deliberated decision and a considerable budget. Most of the companies I have been working with just didn't seem to have available funds, and those that did already had a similar program running internally.

The account management portion of my gig was limited only to our marketing automation clients, most of whom already have an established program with zero intent to change. As of last week, I've inherited the entirety of our client base -- managed service clients included -- and a much heftier quota.

So here's to adapting quickly, and being forced out of my rut! And to new beginnings and achieving ALL THE GOALS.

Learning to say No.

Someone cue the Bill Withers.

If I were to really focus on one lane of self-improvement that would have a super positive effect on my professional life and general well-being, it would involve focusing on realizing when others are taking advantage of me and then finding the strength to keep it from happening.

Don't get me wrong; I love giving to others -- whether it be my time or any other commodity I have to give. Giving brings a sense of selflessness and keeps my stinginess  at bay, and I feel it is necessary to do in order to be a good person. And then there's that whole karma thing. When it comes down to it, the benefit of the receiver is the major draw.

This week was rough in terms of feeling sucked dry. My workload doubled. I was ripped off. I witnessed consecutive non-contribution and let myself pick up the slack. I felt deeply betrayed by someone who should never betray me.

I'm thinking back to when I was once denied a job because I "seemed like the type who couldn't say No."

Starting today, I am going to say "No" more. I am going to decline volunteer requests that I cannot realistically meet. I am going to deny friends who dip into my pockets on a regular basis. I am going to stand my ground and not feel bad about it. 

I am going to forgive, but I am not going to let people run over me. 

CYCLING STYLE: Safety first.

My good friend Annie Angello requested a recurring guest blog entry on cycling style for her publication, Yay Bikes!.

As far this topic's relation to SUCCESSTICATED goes, I would honestly say that my enjoyment for biking came from making it my own thing and not subscribing to the spandexed monkey-butt look unless a trip requires such gear. I discovered that riding a bike and self-expression do not have to be mutually exclusive. Thus, happiness has ensued.

Let's start with the basics necessary for safety:

HELMET - This is a must for safety. It took a while for my helmet to stop feeling weird, but now it feels weird to ride without one! I am in love with Bern's Berkeley model, which includes a removable visor that allows me to wear thicker hats in the winter.

BACKPACK - I like my Camelback backpack for its size, functionality, and color. Despite being small, it fits a change of clothes, running shoes, and my lunch with the usual stow of a U-lock, repair kit, credentials, and an iPhone. Note how the purple matches my helmet and coordinates well with the orchid hue of my bike.

WATER BOTTLE -  Obviously crucial for avoiding dehydration, the water bottle can also be used to make a statement. I find that my vessels tend to match my color scheme.

SHOES - With shoes, flat, sturdy, and close-toed is the way to go! Boots are really good for the colder months, and a slight heal can help grip your pedals. 


Got style tips to share? List 'em below!

DON'T PANIC!: Boston Edition - Part 2

Last week, I mentioned anxiety over running the 2014 Boston Marathon. To sum it up, veni vidi vici!

2014 RiffRaff Unicorn Mafia

Boston itself was a lovely place to prep for the race -- Italian food at every corner, including gelato and pastries. Plus, there was so much to see during my short trots around the North End, Back Bay, and Cambridge areas -- historic buildings, statues, old-school ships, and gorgeous campuses galore.

The night before the race left me a little worried, as I'm not 100% sure I digested the chicken/risotto/mozzarella combo I ate for dinner. Nonetheless, I got a good, hard night's sleep and woke up  to guzzle water at 4:30 a.m. I continued to hydrate until my husband left me at the bus loading zone, which was about a mile's walk away.

The ride to Hopkinton seemed to take hours. All I could think about was, "Damn, I have to run all of this way back?" When we finally got there, I was ushered into the Athlete's Village, where I found COFFEE and a port-a-potty. Perfect combo!

After I got my fill at the Village, I ventured out to find Karen and warmth on one of the fancier buses. An hour later, it was time for Wave 2 to gather. By happenstance, we ran into Sassy, Rob, and Panther, who I stuck with for the mile-or-so walk to the starting line and several miles beyond.

Every minute after that was a blur. We all took off at a comfortable pace, which must have been too fast since Panther kept telling us to slow down. I recall uninterrupted lines of people cheering, holding signs or with hands stretched out for a high-five. The energy never slowed, and it kept me going even when the voices in my head started freaking out about the number of miles I had left to go.

The "plan" stayed forefront -- take it easy through mile 16, then be prepared for a challenge before the downhill slope into the heart of Boston. For the first 12 miles, I felt like I was floating. I passed a guy wearing an Auburn shirt at some point just to tell him ROLL TIDE!

The minute it stopped feeling easy, I downed a gel pack and tuned into the crowd. Occasionally, I felt tears welling up as I tried to process each moment. I  recall seeing some really inspiring runners, some without limbs or who were visually impaired -- totally undeterred and running strong!

I really can't recount most of what happened for the next 12 miles, but I do remember Heartbreak Hill -- long and steady, but nothing someone coming from Austin couldn't conquer.

By mile 24, I was dying and thinking to myself, "Okay, climb the wall. MUST. NOT. GIVE. UP." I downed my fourth goo of the day and powered through.

I saw Justin (my husband) right before rounding the corner to the finish line. His smile gave me just the boost I needed to pick up speed to the finish line. Panther caught up to me not long after I crossed and told me I finished around 03:22 -- and he was right! At a chip time of 03:22:08, I PR'd by almost two minutes. That notion was enough to distract me from the way-too-long walk to the post-race water stop.

Aside from finishing strong, the second biggest win of the day was celebrating with the RiffRaff team, followed by making it up the four flights of stairs to our rented brownstone apartment.

Boston, you were a blast!

DON'T PANIC!: Boston Edition

This coming Monday, I'm running my fourth marathon. It also happens to be the Boston Marathon, and I'm all sorts of nervous.

Luckily, I have a pack this time. I stumbled upon a few unicorn-clad running types at a bar a few months ago and mustered up an introduction.  From that point on, I was roped in for Tuesday evening runs as a RiffRaffian and a future member of the Unicorn Mafia. Yay, friends! Fast friends -- who love to run and drink good beer as much as I do!

While having a support group certainly raises my marathon preparation bar quite a bit, there are several areas I need to focus on in order to make Boston a successful race. I'm still on the fence about what I want successful to mean this time -- another qualifying time? a PR? a fun experience? a pain-free recovery? a box checked off my bucket list?

At least two of these goals are mutually exclusive. In any case, I rarely make a conscious decision about my performance until I'm at the starting line. Of course, there are plenty of precautions that can be taken to make sure I can go the 26.2 mile distance between Hopkinton and the heart of Boston:

1) Train. I took a bad spill on my bike back in October that derailed my training plans for a few months. Because I was also looking toward the Austin Marathon in February, I managed to squeeze in peak mileage a la the Hal Higdon method in December and January:

5-7 miles M, T, W, Th, F, Sa
10+ miles on Sundays, adding 2 miles each week and alternating long run weeks once I hit 18 miles.

I tracked many of my routes on MapMyRun.

2) Eat well. Eating 10 oz. of of queso the day before the Austin Marathon was a disaster. I cramped up almost immediately after the run began and spent at least 5 minutes of the race in a porta-potty. Just thinking about it makes me hurt. This time I'll focus on carb-loading and won't overdo it on the dairy. Oddly enough, Thai and Chinese food the night before have produced my best results.

3) Sleep well. As a self-proclaimed insomniac, I struggle with falling asleep and staying asleep. The best way to solve the struggle with sleeplessness is to throw anxiety out of the window. This is easier said than done, but an early bedtime accompanied by Justin snuggles and a predictable movie are the best remedies.

5) Find a pacer. This worked so well at Big Sur a year ago after I hit my wall halfway through the race. I started off way too fast, but I settled in with the 03:25:00 pace group to finish. A few of my running buddies from RiffRaff are going for a similar pace, so fingers crossed on holding steady!

6) Zone out. I treat running like meditation and tend to get stuck somewhere between my subconscious and the road for a few hours at a time. If I fall out of my "zone", running turns into a painful, huff-and-puff, physically exhausting feat. I'd much rather glide on air while contemplating daydreams.

Ready or not -- five days to go! LET'S DO THIS. Do you have long distance running tips? Please share 'em!

Teachers are my heroes.

I'm interrupting this week's update with a shameless plug: stay tuned for a monthly fashion column on my friend Annie's blog, YAY BIKES!

In other news, I'd like to reflect on a very important lesson I learned last week: don't be a parrot.

I stuck my foot really deep in my mouth during my group run.  Mind you, this is a super fun motley crew I joined one month ago in an effort to make friends. Needless to say, I was still stamping out first impressions and this one was a nose dive...

A few runners-who-also-happened-to-be-teachers struck up a conversation about their respective school systems. I recognized one of the schools as a deterrent in my husband's and my choice of neighborhood, as we read online reviews that the district "wasn't very good". 

Those quoted words spewed from my mouth with little thought of it possibly offending one of the teachers. She explained very politely that, sure, it's something people say -- but her experience has been the contrary.

And why wouldn't it be? It was easy to recognize that she was an impassioned individual who genuinely cared about her students' successes. The socioeconomic factors at play had nothing to do with how "good' a school is when great teachers like her run the classrooms. 

This faux pas served as a reminder that I should always question the source and observe the Truth (big T) firsthand. I was also reminded how much respect I have for teachers and their diligence, patience, and selflessness. I wouldn't be half the person I am today without my own teachers' encouragement through the years, and I should never forget the impact educators have on their students' futures.

To my running friend and all other teachers out there -- thank you for everything you do!

Be constructive!

In my last post, I explained how a piece of constructive criticism and associated advice pretty much saved my professional life. As painful as it was to hear, the feedback my instructor offered was invaluable.

I'm going to gripe a little here -- I get really annoyed when someone offers negative feedback without adding a suggested solution. Destructive criticism is not only harsh, but it can often be pointless and even counterproductive. 

The provision of useful feedback can be used to crush the blame game as well. Finger pointing tends to be largely ineffectual, and it's a great way to make people not like you. I would hope one would focus on how to fix the fault rather than focus on who's at fault. Tearing others down by associating them with a mishap, mistake, or missed goal is not going to solve any problem. Bypass the blame by providing a way to move forward.

And then you have your two-faced critics who mutter discontent to everyone but to whom would matter the most -- the ones they find discontenting. For the sake of progress, please be direct and offer advice where you see fit! All the while, be gentle and keep open-minded opinions while focusing on the real goal(s) at hand.

Obvious stuff, right? I'd like to make it a point this week to put my own constructive criticism to action, and I encourage others to follow -- for our constant leap into improvement.

To make it easier, here are some wonderfully cheesy illustrations and tips on how to criticize constructively.

Make friends.

I hate to dwell on failures, but there are a few particular happenstances that plague me -- sometimes even 20% of my years after the fact.

In college, I was very proud of my 4.0+ GPA. I dedicated days and nights to studying and extra credit assignments to keep it hovering at a 4.2. Until my junior/senior year, I had only received a single B+ in my high school dual enrollment American History I course -- coincidentally my first college-level class. Luckily, the necessity of rote memorization eventually clicked, and I was able to ace American History II and nearly every course that followed.

Zoom forward three years to a jaw-dropping moment: seeing that pesky B letter again on my transcript.. I spent at least half of my academic bandwidth and waking availability dedicating myself to a class for a "Good" grade when I was striving for an "Excellent" grade.

I took it up with my instructor, and her explanation was that grades were decided collectively per feedback from my classmates (it was a team effort, after all). I remember her words very clearly:

"People don't like you."

I remember some more words about me isolating myself and how that wasn't conducive for likability. I think it had something to do with my grungy style, introspective nature, and intense fear of group-think. These traits would not have been so condemning if I was striving to sit in a basement somewhere creating logos, which was pretty much my goal at the time.

Within a week, I received the best advice I've ever been given from an adviser, who decided to part the words of wisdom at just the right time: "Make friends."

I cannot say that the advice stuck right then and there. I had friends after all -- the glorious New College hippies I love dearly and still visit regularly. But those words sure do resonate now. It took a lot of baby steps, but I eventually go the hang of being more personable outside of my small tribe.

Admittedly, I still struggle with lone wolf syndrome in some aspects of my life, but I've managed to make countless friends -- especially since moving to Austin. The whole "keep it weird" makes it much easier to fit in, and people here seem to be on a whole new level of nice and are super accepting.

Here's how I practiced making friends professionally and beyond:

1) Re-frame small talk. Small talk is more about listening than it is about mindlessly chatting. It provides opportunity to pick up on what people truly care about and how you can relate to them.

2) Find a common interest and run with it. Not unrelated to the first point, forming a bond over a specific passion can make for an immediate friendship.

3) Compliment, compliment, compliment. Nice words go a long way. Don't, however, talk out of your ass.

4) Be sensitive to others' perceived weaknesses and dwell on their strengths.

5) Make positivity a priority. Spell check tells me "positivity" isn't a real word, but it's my mantra regardless. I don't care if misery loves company -- positivity makes pleasant company and is absolutely contagious even in the face of adversity.

6) Granola. My recipe brings all the boys and girls to the yard. Seriously, people love food, and bellies have tunnels straight to the heart. Master baking has its place in the social world.

7) Use this sentence often: "Teamwork makes the dream work."


How do YOU make friends?

SXSW recap, likes and dislikes

When it comes to SXSW, survival is of the essence.

For those of you who have never experienced this 9 day festival, South By Southwest brings a blend of interactive, film, and music conferences, which attracts thousands of visitors from all over the world to Texas' capital city. Oh, and there's advertising -- lots and lots of it in the form of signs, stickers, booths, sponsorship, swag and more swag.

It's so hard not to participate when the signs are PURPLE.

Yes, that is a giant wrecking ball.

Numerous  parties -- official and unofficial -- offer free flowing booze and plenty of opportunities to network and to be entertained. Needless to say, attempts to attend the entire festival can become daunting and exhausting -- but riding out the SXSW wave can be worth the recovery period.

Game of Thrones exhibit, check!

Delicious beer at the Game of Thrones exhibit, double check!

This year wasn't my finest in terms of attendance, and I certainly had my reasons. All of my DISLIKES about SXSW week have little to do with the actual event and more to do with terrible circumstances:


Losing my wallet
One minute I'm showing my I.D. to get into a show, the next minute my entire wallet is gone. Poof. Just like that, it disappeared between those 10 feet I walked from the security guard to the stage. Luckily, I had no cash and I was able to cancel my credit cards with St. Paul & the Broken Bones playing in the background.

Being on antibiotics
Nausea, vomiting, rapid heart rate, dizziness --  those open bars weren't so attractive with these potential side effects looming.

The Red River Massacre
This year's event was interrupted by what can only be called an absolute tragedy when a police evasion turned into a vicious vehicular attack of innocent festival bystanders. 

On the other hand, the few escapades I did have were a total success, hence these LIKES:

This is a legit office.

ATX Start Up Crawl 
Sponsored by Google, the ATX Start Up Crawl is not an official SXSW event. It is, however, one of my favorite things to do during SX. A few dozen start up companies open their doors and kegs to the public, and we get to see firsthand what it's like to work for some of Austin's hippest companies. Trendkite, for the win!

Start Up Oasis
My friend who happens to also be my co-worker and I stumbled into a talk led by Craig Wortmann of "the other" Sales Engine (I work for a company called Sales Engine International). He gave great advice about optimizing selling potential at conferences and other meet ups. 

St. Paul & the Broken Bones
My cousin, Andrew Lee, drums for this band. They played nine shows at SX and are embarking on a Euro tour very soon. It's absolutely amazing to watch the crowd react to their soulful sound, and I can't help but be super proud of Andrew's performance -- especially when he's wearing a big ass grin on his face. Way to go, 'cuz -- you're living the dream!

Andrew is hiding behind a drum set.

When March 2015 rolls around, I plan to be out in full force again!

Find WHERE makes you happy.

Dear Austin, Texas:

I am so happy we found each other. Three years ago, I had no idea how brilliant it would be to move to you sights and sounds unknown, never having visited nor knowing any of your "Austinites."

You have brought me new friends, new hobbies, and new outlooks on life. Just the past week alone has exposed me to even more of your rad start up offices, alternative fitness opportunities, and spontaneous parades set to the tune of foreign accents.

Everything that would seem terrible about you somehow ends up making perfect sense. I am happy to look past your terrible traffic since you exposed me to the wonder of endless bike lanes. Your rising cost of living has actually provided a pretty sweet investment while leaving me with a reasonable monthly mortgage rate, and your summer heat gives me a great excuse for early mornings and lazy days on the river.

Even in the throngs of South-by-Southwest and its wondersphere of intelligent conversation and free booze, I know you keep a special spot reserved for introspection within your trails and quiet neighborhoods.  It is in this solace that I am able to digest the close memories of the days and nights I have found myself carried by your inhabitants to fantastic heights from which I've experienced uninterrupted views of your violent crowns and growing skyline.

For all these reasons and more, my dear Austin, I love you so much.

Love,

Emily

Learn and unlearn how to write.

Last week, I mentioned that learning to use the phone was a big deal for my unintentional career path. The gift of gab, while possible to pick up with experience, is not my natural forte. I can, however, think of a particular seemingly intuitive skill to blame for my inadvertent spiral into the sales seat -- writing!

In high school, I ran with my ability to geek out over grammar by joining Sparkman High School's award-winning student newspaper staff. I eventually milked my position as co-editor for all the college scholarships it was worth, which entailed many pages of self-gloating that were written just well enough to make my essays stand out from other applicants at least a handful of times (</self gloating>).

College was a turning point because I learned to throw everything I knew about form and sentence structure out of the window. Between advertising copy writing classes, film courses, and long-winded research papers, my writing became schizophrenic and extremely adaptable.

Perhaps the most mission critical concept I learned was the "AIDA" model for persuasive writing -- Attention leads to Interest leads to Desire leads to Action.

Now I'm pushing out hundreds of emails, proposals, contract amendments, and investment summaries as part of the daily grind. If I escaped my keyboard for more than an hour, my whole world crumbles.

Personal history aside, it can seriously pay to be a good writer. Below are tips from various sources that have helped me tremendously:

1) Read things similar to how you want to write. Need to write a scientific article? A program synopsis? A menu item description? Read ALL THE THINGS in the style of writing you are hoping to achieve.

2) Write for your reader. First, understand who your audience is and what their motive would be for reading whatever you produce. Use words and themes that resonate and make memorable statements to forge a lasting connection (Attention!).   The  rule above can also be intertwined if you are exchanging written correspondence -- I find I have better engagements with clients if I mimic nuances in their own writing (even if it means overusing exclamation points and emoticons ;P !!! ).

3) Forget the rules. The rude awakening I experienced in college still applies. Sentence fragments don't have to be the bane of existence, nor does misuse of punctuation.  Just make sure your point can be understood clearly.

4) Be brief when necessary. Long paragraphs scare some people. If you can make a comprehensible point with less words, then strive for brevity.

5) Practice. Practice. Practice. Writing is a skill that can easily be learned and more easily lost, so create opportunities to practice long-form writing regularly (i.e., start a blog).

Due credit: Why I'm celebrating Alexander Graham Bell's birthday

"Successful people give other people credit for their victories." 

-- MaryEllen Tribby's infographic.

So I never intended to work in Sales. Account Management, maybe. But not general Sales. Here's how it happened:

2009 was a rough year for the U.S. economy. It was coincidentally the year I graduated with a B.A. in Advertising & Public Relations. There wasn't a lot of opportunity in Poughkeepsie, NY -- especially in the creative field. Nor was there work in "The City" for that matter (how the upstate folk refer to NYC). Hell, Allen Rosenshine wasn't even hiring!

Meanwhile, I was slinging garlic cheese biscuits at Red Lobster.

I finally found a gig selling display ads and directory listings for a regional print magazine's website. This first "real" job required me to make my own call lists and set appointments to explain advertising options. I was provided with a laptop, a price sheet, and a week of training.

My goals were to make 100 cold calls, set 10 appointments, and make at least three sales weekly.

The calling part was hard. First off, small business owners rarely answers their phones. This applies especially to the restaurant owners who I was stupidly targeting because of my familiarity with the business. Little did I know how terrible that decision was.

Secondly, it's awkward to make a sales pitch to someone you've never met. Some people get downright pissed that you're trying to contact them.

Regardless, I made my 100 calls, struggled to get appointments, and eventually just started to visit establishments uninvited. I was 10x more likely to have a conversation that way.

On my best weeks, I sold a single $50 package. Two months after my start date, I was canned.
In retrospect, I probably should have focused on doctors more than restaurant owners -- and asked for a little more direction since I had no clue what I was doing.

Looking on the (questionably) bright side, this horrible experience paid off and helped me land another underpaying short-term gig selling test prep services on college campuses. I collected scholarship sweepstakes forms and called student "leads" to enroll them in on-site classes. Sensing a theme yet?

That company made major cuts just four months after I was hired, and I was the least experienced and thus the first person on the chopping block.

Then I landed something closer to by dream job: sales for a geothermal heating and cooling company. This role paid a living wage, allowed me to work from home promoting energy efficiency, and required lots of project bid research and phone calls to estimation departments.

It continued the tradition of high volume outbound dials, but the calls felt more purposeful -- which made it super easy.

Fast forward to the present -- I've morphed from outside sales to inside sales, and guess what? I'm still making calls. But now it's better; I actually get to make meaningful connections with clients to offer them means of increasing their success. And I do this 100% over the phone.

I've finally made peace with my landline and my calling (pun intended).

I certainly haven't peaked in my career, but I would be a fool to think I'm going to escape a reliance on telecommunications. This coming week, you can bet I'll be giving a toast to our good ol' boy Alexander Graham Bell (March 3 is his birthday, after all).

Thanks for enabling me to pay my bills, A. G.!

Turn fear into bliss.

When my butt isn't confined to a chair positioned in front of a computer, it can often be found on the seat of my 1980-something purple Bianchi single speed. It's my vehicle to work when the weather is decent (which is most of the time in Austin, Texas, save for the rare thunderstorm or even rarer snow flurry), and social cycling is among my primary pastimes on the weekends and almost weekends.

Photo courtesy of Andrea Mabry.

Passions squared: don't get me started on the color purple.

Once upon a time -- all of a few years ago -- I was not a cyclist in the least. My friend Annie Angello showed me the ropes of road biking soon after I moved the the Live Music Capital of the World. I must admit, the first few months of two-wheeled ventures were terrifying.

Learning to ride with traffic is no cake walk. I've discovered how to deal with angry drivers, how to be on guard for every pothole and piece of broken glass that litters the streets, and how to dodge nasty speed bumps that tend to come out of nowhere. Not surprisingly, though, riding a bike is, well, just like riding a bike -- once you get the hang of it, you're golden. 

After regularly joining the Thursday Night Social Ride, biking became a breeze and a passion. It has fueled more endorphin-filled excursions than I can track, and I wouldn't trade this hobby for a Bentley.

The point of sharing my amour de velo is to encourage anyone and everyone to find something they love and make it an integral part of their life -- even if that thing is uncomfortable or scary at first.

The podium called Dog.

I keep another graphic pinned up in my cube that looks like this:

This was one of my first graphic design pieces created outside of class assignments. I remember its inspiration very vividly.

It was a spring day in early 2007 within a small, musty classroom in a place called Morgan Hall (this is at The University of Alabama if you need an absolute point of reference). My English Lit teacher, who I'll refer to as Mr. K, put on an extremely clever show to demonstrate the power of interpretation and our own literal constructs.

Mr. K began by pointing to his podium asking each person in our class what it was. Each student answered with his or her own term, to which he kept replying, "No, this is a DOG!"

"You," said Mr. K looking directly at a classmate in front of me. "What is this?"

"A book stand?"

"NO, IT'S A DOG," Mr. K replied while slamming the podium up to imitate frustration.

And to Mr. K's point, that object he was handling was indeed a dog. To him, at least.

Everyone perceives words, images, situations, and the general world around them in very different ways. Communication is critical to overcoming perceptual differences, as I've found that pre-defining terms can lead to quicker understanding and mutual decision-making. Furthermore, distancing oneself from one's own interpretation and forcing a two-sided view can promote agreement. And then there's that whole notion about making sure you are on the same page as someone else...

I don't remember much else about Mr. K's lesson, but, man --- that part sure did stick and is more applicable to my everyday life than most things I learned in college. His point has helped me both personally and professionally.

Whenever I find myself giving a sales presentation filled with ambiguous acronyms and contextual expressions, I make it a point to ask if I'm making sense and re-phrase as necessary. Sometimes this means paraphrasing myself multiple times, but I find this increases engagement -- as well as interest.

My goal this week is to make a podium bark.