Make friends.

I hate to dwell on failures, but there are a few particular happenstances that plague me -- sometimes even 20% of my years after the fact.

In college, I was very proud of my 4.0+ GPA. I dedicated days and nights to studying and extra credit assignments to keep it hovering at a 4.2. Until my junior/senior year, I had only received a single B+ in my high school dual enrollment American History I course -- coincidentally my first college-level class. Luckily, the necessity of rote memorization eventually clicked, and I was able to ace American History II and nearly every course that followed.

Zoom forward three years to a jaw-dropping moment: seeing that pesky B letter again on my transcript.. I spent at least half of my academic bandwidth and waking availability dedicating myself to a class for a "Good" grade when I was striving for an "Excellent" grade.

I took it up with my instructor, and her explanation was that grades were decided collectively per feedback from my classmates (it was a team effort, after all). I remember her words very clearly:

"People don't like you."

I remember some more words about me isolating myself and how that wasn't conducive for likability. I think it had something to do with my grungy style, introspective nature, and intense fear of group-think. These traits would not have been so condemning if I was striving to sit in a basement somewhere creating logos, which was pretty much my goal at the time.

Within a week, I received the best advice I've ever been given from an adviser, who decided to part the words of wisdom at just the right time: "Make friends."

I cannot say that the advice stuck right then and there. I had friends after all -- the glorious New College hippies I love dearly and still visit regularly. But those words sure do resonate now. It took a lot of baby steps, but I eventually go the hang of being more personable outside of my small tribe.

Admittedly, I still struggle with lone wolf syndrome in some aspects of my life, but I've managed to make countless friends -- especially since moving to Austin. The whole "keep it weird" makes it much easier to fit in, and people here seem to be on a whole new level of nice and are super accepting.

Here's how I practiced making friends professionally and beyond:

1) Re-frame small talk. Small talk is more about listening than it is about mindlessly chatting. It provides opportunity to pick up on what people truly care about and how you can relate to them.

2) Find a common interest and run with it. Not unrelated to the first point, forming a bond over a specific passion can make for an immediate friendship.

3) Compliment, compliment, compliment. Nice words go a long way. Don't, however, talk out of your ass.

4) Be sensitive to others' perceived weaknesses and dwell on their strengths.

5) Make positivity a priority. Spell check tells me "positivity" isn't a real word, but it's my mantra regardless. I don't care if misery loves company -- positivity makes pleasant company and is absolutely contagious even in the face of adversity.

6) Granola. My recipe brings all the boys and girls to the yard. Seriously, people love food, and bellies have tunnels straight to the heart. Master baking has its place in the social world.

7) Use this sentence often: "Teamwork makes the dream work."


How do YOU make friends?

SXSW recap, likes and dislikes

When it comes to SXSW, survival is of the essence.

For those of you who have never experienced this 9 day festival, South By Southwest brings a blend of interactive, film, and music conferences, which attracts thousands of visitors from all over the world to Texas' capital city. Oh, and there's advertising -- lots and lots of it in the form of signs, stickers, booths, sponsorship, swag and more swag.

It's so hard not to participate when the signs are PURPLE.

Yes, that is a giant wrecking ball.

Numerous  parties -- official and unofficial -- offer free flowing booze and plenty of opportunities to network and to be entertained. Needless to say, attempts to attend the entire festival can become daunting and exhausting -- but riding out the SXSW wave can be worth the recovery period.

Game of Thrones exhibit, check!

Delicious beer at the Game of Thrones exhibit, double check!

This year wasn't my finest in terms of attendance, and I certainly had my reasons. All of my DISLIKES about SXSW week have little to do with the actual event and more to do with terrible circumstances:


Losing my wallet
One minute I'm showing my I.D. to get into a show, the next minute my entire wallet is gone. Poof. Just like that, it disappeared between those 10 feet I walked from the security guard to the stage. Luckily, I had no cash and I was able to cancel my credit cards with St. Paul & the Broken Bones playing in the background.

Being on antibiotics
Nausea, vomiting, rapid heart rate, dizziness --  those open bars weren't so attractive with these potential side effects looming.

The Red River Massacre
This year's event was interrupted by what can only be called an absolute tragedy when a police evasion turned into a vicious vehicular attack of innocent festival bystanders. 

On the other hand, the few escapades I did have were a total success, hence these LIKES:

This is a legit office.

ATX Start Up Crawl 
Sponsored by Google, the ATX Start Up Crawl is not an official SXSW event. It is, however, one of my favorite things to do during SX. A few dozen start up companies open their doors and kegs to the public, and we get to see firsthand what it's like to work for some of Austin's hippest companies. Trendkite, for the win!

Start Up Oasis
My friend who happens to also be my co-worker and I stumbled into a talk led by Craig Wortmann of "the other" Sales Engine (I work for a company called Sales Engine International). He gave great advice about optimizing selling potential at conferences and other meet ups. 

St. Paul & the Broken Bones
My cousin, Andrew Lee, drums for this band. They played nine shows at SX and are embarking on a Euro tour very soon. It's absolutely amazing to watch the crowd react to their soulful sound, and I can't help but be super proud of Andrew's performance -- especially when he's wearing a big ass grin on his face. Way to go, 'cuz -- you're living the dream!

Andrew is hiding behind a drum set.

When March 2015 rolls around, I plan to be out in full force again!

Find WHERE makes you happy.

Dear Austin, Texas:

I am so happy we found each other. Three years ago, I had no idea how brilliant it would be to move to you sights and sounds unknown, never having visited nor knowing any of your "Austinites."

You have brought me new friends, new hobbies, and new outlooks on life. Just the past week alone has exposed me to even more of your rad start up offices, alternative fitness opportunities, and spontaneous parades set to the tune of foreign accents.

Everything that would seem terrible about you somehow ends up making perfect sense. I am happy to look past your terrible traffic since you exposed me to the wonder of endless bike lanes. Your rising cost of living has actually provided a pretty sweet investment while leaving me with a reasonable monthly mortgage rate, and your summer heat gives me a great excuse for early mornings and lazy days on the river.

Even in the throngs of South-by-Southwest and its wondersphere of intelligent conversation and free booze, I know you keep a special spot reserved for introspection within your trails and quiet neighborhoods.  It is in this solace that I am able to digest the close memories of the days and nights I have found myself carried by your inhabitants to fantastic heights from which I've experienced uninterrupted views of your violent crowns and growing skyline.

For all these reasons and more, my dear Austin, I love you so much.

Love,

Emily

Learn and unlearn how to write.

Last week, I mentioned that learning to use the phone was a big deal for my unintentional career path. The gift of gab, while possible to pick up with experience, is not my natural forte. I can, however, think of a particular seemingly intuitive skill to blame for my inadvertent spiral into the sales seat -- writing!

In high school, I ran with my ability to geek out over grammar by joining Sparkman High School's award-winning student newspaper staff. I eventually milked my position as co-editor for all the college scholarships it was worth, which entailed many pages of self-gloating that were written just well enough to make my essays stand out from other applicants at least a handful of times (</self gloating>).

College was a turning point because I learned to throw everything I knew about form and sentence structure out of the window. Between advertising copy writing classes, film courses, and long-winded research papers, my writing became schizophrenic and extremely adaptable.

Perhaps the most mission critical concept I learned was the "AIDA" model for persuasive writing -- Attention leads to Interest leads to Desire leads to Action.

Now I'm pushing out hundreds of emails, proposals, contract amendments, and investment summaries as part of the daily grind. If I escaped my keyboard for more than an hour, my whole world crumbles.

Personal history aside, it can seriously pay to be a good writer. Below are tips from various sources that have helped me tremendously:

1) Read things similar to how you want to write. Need to write a scientific article? A program synopsis? A menu item description? Read ALL THE THINGS in the style of writing you are hoping to achieve.

2) Write for your reader. First, understand who your audience is and what their motive would be for reading whatever you produce. Use words and themes that resonate and make memorable statements to forge a lasting connection (Attention!).   The  rule above can also be intertwined if you are exchanging written correspondence -- I find I have better engagements with clients if I mimic nuances in their own writing (even if it means overusing exclamation points and emoticons ;P !!! ).

3) Forget the rules. The rude awakening I experienced in college still applies. Sentence fragments don't have to be the bane of existence, nor does misuse of punctuation.  Just make sure your point can be understood clearly.

4) Be brief when necessary. Long paragraphs scare some people. If you can make a comprehensible point with less words, then strive for brevity.

5) Practice. Practice. Practice. Writing is a skill that can easily be learned and more easily lost, so create opportunities to practice long-form writing regularly (i.e., start a blog).